Do you like purple?

Perky Pine Marten seeks quirky pal for laughter and adventures.
Loves blowing bubbles from treetops, the scent of mango flesh at tea-time, pirate stories and inventing dances.
Please come to the Maple Hotel Lounge 3pm, Sunday!


The Doppelgangers
Coming soon

In the Brick Lane sweet shop the friendly man helps me pick my sickly treats. His is the happy face of a child, pleasing like a slice of buttered toast or a clean towel.
I think you like this one. It coconut and sugar and milk.
-Okay, one please. Which of these are good?
This one milk and sugar and pistachio.
This one milk and sugar and flour.
This sugar and flour and chocolate.
This one just sugar and flour.
-Ooh, I think my teeth are going to fall out!

The Night of the Hunter (1955), the suspense, the noir, the chil-dren!
Pearl is a southern belle with sass. A supreme sulker and fatally fickle, she's a real lady. Not only is she is the long-lost grandma of Meg White but she inspired me to take up limericks.

Goil called Poil

There was a young girl called Pearl
Who thought that she was a squirrel
She ate so much nuts
She busted her guts
That poor young squirrel-girl called Pearl

Children's Book Blurbs for books that are growing in my brain...

Disaster Dad

Ever been so embarassed that you wish the ground would open up and eat you in one gulp, without even burping up your shoelaces as evidence?

Well that's how poor Sesame Harris feels every single day!


I can't even tell you how embarassing Sesame's dad is. You will have to believe me: it's beyond disastrous. Just imagine, he insists on driving her to school on a pig-drawn cart. Imagine!

Sesame enrolls her dad at Mrs Dwightforth's Academy for Misbehaving Parents (And Canines) to prevent herself dying from shame, but little does she realise, the trouble has only just begun!


Discover the hilarious consequences of Sesame's mission to make her very silly dad a very little bit more sensible.

Jasmine's Dream

The boy from the rice paddies wears shabby rags, he steals from the shops, he swears in front of the elders and he smells odious.

But there's something about him that Jasmine can't ignore: because the boy from the rice paddies is creeping into her dreams.

Each night he whispers to her a terrible secret, a secret so dark that it is threatening to unleash misery and hell upon Jasmine's people.

Only Jasmine can carry the weight of the secret, only Jasmine can stop the horror and only Jasmine can speak with the boy.

If only she could work out how to speak with him outside of her dreams…

Cookie Bro

Susie has accidentally transformed her annoying little brother into a cookie overnight.


And Susie's family LOVE cookies! And today they are REALLY hungry!


Now Susie has to save her little cookie-bro from their ravenous family before he's nothing but crumb dust - and it isn't going to be a piece-of-cake!

A delightfully cheeky story, written and illustrated by Smartie's Prize Silver Winner and double choc-chip fan, Hoogon Trightwain.

Sly the Spy

A toungue-twisting name. A change of identity. And a whole heap of trouble.

Slajnhapadouph Skrimnknopolous is sick to death of his name. He just can't be bothered to say it any more. He's thinking something catchy like James Bond or Indiana Jones would suit him better...

But when he changes his name to Sly Vinkman, things start to go weird. First he starts to forget who he is. Then he starts knowing stuff he never learnt in school. And weirdest of all, he begins to receive spy radio signals through his head!

Sly has accidentally stolen the persona of a real-life international spy and now he's being called on for a deadly mission he can't handle alone. Sly must find the real Sly Vinkman and get his own annoying name back as fast as possible!